Rat: "Rats, I can't help but think about you today. With a year of the Snake on our heels, it seems like we're all gonna need to find some new tricks up our sleeves if we wanna make a splash. But don't worry, baby! We've got plenty of time to hone those skills and learn … Read more
Pig: Sorry Pigs, but this year's not gonna be a piggy smooch. Not even a little kissy face from your partner. You need to start working on those abs and get in shape! Lucky Numbers: 1, 2, 3, 6, 8
Dog: Dog year is finally here! It's time to take a bite out of life and go after what you want. Don't be shy, pups – let your true colors (and tails) shine brightly! And if you're in the mood for some tail-wagging fun, hit up the local dog park or gay bar for a … Read more
Rooster: "Hey there, Roosters! It's time to take a look at what's in store for you in September 2025. Things are looking pretty good with the Snake out of the way and on its way to a new zodiac sign next year – but watch out for the Monkey, he might get a little too … Read more
Monkey: "Oh la la! Today's date is September 11th, a day of great importance to the Monkeys out there. They may not be able to resist their primal urges and will likely get caught in a compromising situation involving multiple Monkeys." Lucky Numbers: 1, 2, 3, 6, 8
Goat (Sheep): Hey there, fuzzy little goats! It's September 11th, but don't worry – we got this! According to my crystal ball (which I bought from a street vendor in Chinatown), things are looking pretty hot for you guys. You're gonna be feeling frisky and free-spirited like never before, so go ahead and let your … Read more
Horse: In the year of the Snake, the Horse will be seen flirting with their favorite zodiac signs, the Dragon and Monkey. The two will spend a lot of time together, and the Horse's playful spirit will make them laugh hysterically at their own jokes. However, they must be careful not to overdo it as … Read more
Snake: "Today's forecast is hot, hot, hot! And not just because of the temperature. Today's a perfect day to go for a swim or a steamy shower – if you know what I mean." Lucky Numbers: 1, 2, 3, 6, 8
Dragon: The dragon is feeling a bit drowsy today due to all that hot dragon semen they consumed last night. They might want to take it easy and stay at home with their pink flamingo, but if they must venture out, remember not to bump into any cute Chinese teens! Lucky Numbers: 1, 2, 3, … Read more
Tiger: "Hello fellow Tigers! You may be wondering what this year has in store for you. Well, let me tell you a little secret. This year is going to be a blast! But first things first – don't forget to bring your lube and condoms because it's always best to be safe. And while we're … Read more