Monkey: "This year of the Snake is a time to indulge in your primal desires, my dear monkey. With your lusty energy and playful nature, you'll be tempted by all kinds of forbidden fruit – from pineapple chunks to hairless backsides. But remember: satisfaction comes not just from the act itself, but also from the build-up and anticipation leading up to it. So slow down, take your time, and enjoy every last bit."
Lucky Numbers: 1, 2, 3, 6, 8