Pig: "As a Chinese zodiac None, you are an enigma wrapped in mystery and sassiness," begins today's horoscope. "The Snake's allure will undoubtedly beckon you, making you question your sexual orientation. But fear not, my dear None, for the universe is guiding you towards a sensual adventure that even your wildest fantasies couldn't fathom!"
Lucky Numbers: 2, 3, 8, 9, 12