Pig: "It's time to get your piggies out and shake them in celebration of the Chinese zodiac sign of the year! And what better way to do that than with a light-hearted gay-slanted forecast? According to our astrological experts, it's predicted that this Piggy will be full of fun and frolics, so get ready for some hilarious shenanigans! Just make sure you don't get too carried away with the swine seductions, or you might end up in a muddy mess. Whoops!"
Lucky Numbers: 1, 2, 3, 6, 8